


Raw

by AllDaveKat



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human/Troll Society (Homestuck), Bathroom Sex, Bulges and Nooks (Homestuck), Clothed Sex, Coming In Pants, Coming Untouched, Dave's Obama kink, Dildos, Established Relationship, First Dates, Fluff and Smut, Light Bondage, M/M, Masturbation, One Shot, Semi-Public Sex, Sushi, Xenophilia, bigkat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:15:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22900810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllDaveKat/pseuds/AllDaveKat
Summary: Karkat watches Dave eat sushi and gets uncomfortably turned on.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 18
Kudos: 208
Collections: Dave "Cums His Pants" Strider





	Raw

It had taken a while for him to work up to it, but Dave was finally taking Karkat out for their first real, official, outside-in-public date. They’d decided on the whole “boyfriends” thing roughly three months, two weeks, one day, fifteen minutes, and forty-five seconds ago, but being who they were, they had spent most of the time since then watching movies at Karkat’s house (and trying to avoid his annoying roommates), or getting to know each other very intimately in Dave’s studio apartment. But Dave was determined to prove his worth as a romantic boyfriend, so it was time for a real date night.

Dave let Karkat pick out the restaurant, a sushi place in downtown Houston. Neither of them had eaten sushi before, unsurprising considering Dave spent his childhood surviving on Doritos and Ramen, and Karkat was a fucking alien who had minimal interest in human cuisine, but Karkat wanted to try it because, for some goddamn reason, basically every romantic comedy seemed to feature a sushi restaurant scene. Dave didn’t really give a shit what they ate, he knew he could pretty much choke down anything, but he was nervous as all hell about making sure the date went well.

He washed his hair and restyled it twice, and changed his outfit five times--finally deciding on a full suit, because so what if he was overdressed, he looked damn good--before finally leaving to pick up his boyfriend.

Arriving at Karkat’s house, he knocked on the door, touching his hair self-consciously and smoothing down his jacket.

Sollux was yelling into his headset as he answered the door, shirtless and wearing bee-printed boxers and crusty-looking socks. “--You fucking assholes, I’m afk don’t fucking shoot me! I had to get the door for my stupid roommate’s stupid boyfriend.”

He completely ignored Dave aside from this, walking back into his room without a second glance.

Dave came inside and shut the door behind himself. He decided to stand around instead of sitting on the crumb-covered couch cushions, as much as they beckoned to his controversially-shaped ass. It would be fucking dumb to ruin his outfit before Karkat even got to see it.

Karkat walked out of the bathroom, wearing a dress shirt that fit tightly over his barrel chest and jeans that hugged his thick thighs like a condom over a fat dick. Troll puberty had been really, really good to him. Dave grinned.

Karkat’s nest of hair was still wet from showering, and Dave wanted to run his hands through it and french him until they were panting and rutting against each other on the floor. Fuck. He shook his head to clear the lewd thoughts. right now it was time to romance the heck out of his boyfriend.

Dave swept a bouquet of roses out from behind his back, offering it to Karkat. “Happy Date Night, my liege,” he mumbled, then immediately regretting not having pre-planned a cool and/or sexy thing to say.

Karkat’s mouth was gaping open and Dave waited patiently for a response. He blushed and took the flowers from Dave.

“Wow, you, uh. Clean up well.” He sounded slightly shell-shocked, looking down at himself. “Fuck, I should get changed, I’m way underdressed, I’ll look like an asshole if I go out with you looking like this.”

“No way, you look fucking great babe,” Dave said honestly. “You don’t need to dress up or anything, I’m just extra af and I own way too many suits that never get any use, so I figured I might as well throw one on. If anything, people are gonna think I’m the one who looks like an asshole, not you, so don’t worry about it.”

“Alright, we’re gonna be late for our reservation if I change anyway, fuck it, let’s just go,” Karkat grumbled. Dave would have been a little more worried about his outfit choice if it weren’t for the way Karkat was looking at him like he was a glistening hot lifeguard running sexily down the beach to save someone’s life. Karkat broke his gaze away and went into the kitchen to stick the flowers in a jar of water, then he grabbed Dave’s hand and dragged him out the door, slamming it shut.

They arrived at the restaurant, and Dave made sure to hold the door open for Karkat, who rolled his eyes and walked in ahead of him. The restaurant was fairly crowded and they were seated at a small corner table. They were handed a drink menu, and Dave immediately ordered whatever the fuck an appletini was. Karkat said he was fine with water.

When their food arrived, Dave tentatively grabbed a piece of sushi with his fingers and dipped it in soy sauce. He popped it into his mouth, and--actually, that wasn’t bad. Mostly tasted like rice dipped in soy sauce. He grabbed another one, that had a slippery fucking tentacle strapped to the top of it.

“Haha, hey Karkat, you know what this looks like?” Dave laughed, peeling the sushi apart so he could wave the tentacle in Karkat’s face.

Karkat’s cheeks flushed dark red. “Dave I swear to God, do not.”

“Awe babe come on, you know what it looks like right?”

“We are not having this conversation!”

“It looks like your dick,” Dave said, then he popped the tip of the tentacle in his mouth and started gently sucking at it.

Karkat made a sound like an angry goose.

“Mmmm, damn, Karkat, this little guy’s pretty tasty. Not as good as yours though, but I’d definitely eat here again if you know what I’m saying.”

Dave sucked more of the tentacle into his mouth and closed his eyes, moaning softly for show as he fellated it. And whoops, accidentally turning himself on wasn’t the plan here, he thought, as he felt himself stiffening slightly in his pants.

He opened an eye to look at his boyfriend. Karkat’s cheeks were dark red, his eye was twitching, and he could not seem to tear his eyes away from the tentacle in Dave’s mouth.

Dave grinned. “What’s the matter Karkat? You like what you’re seeing? A little too much, maybe?”

Karkat growled, a low pitched rumble that raised the hair on the back of Dave’s neck and also raised the dick on the front of his crotch. Nice.

Karkat stood up suddenly, looking around the room, then shot a heated glare at Dave. “I’m going to the bathroom.” He turned on his heel and marched off.

Uh. Was that… was Karkat propositioning him? Here, in this fuckin’ sushi restaurant? Wow. Dave reached down and adjusted himself subtly, then surreptitiously looked around and followed Karkat in the direction he’d gone.

He entered the men’s room, and Karkat was standing in there at the sink waiting for him. Oh, shit. Karkat grabbed him by the collar of his fancy suit and dragged him into a stall, closing the door behind them and shoving him up against it.

“You’re such an insufferable shitprick,” Karkat snarled, and kissed him, mashing his teeth roughly into Dave’s.

Dave kissed back eagerly, loving the feeling of Karkat’s body pressed flush against him. He tried to reach his hands into Karkat’s jeans to grab his dingle-dongle, but Karkat grabbed his wrists away and easily pinned them over his head. Oh, fuckkkk yes, Dave had just died and gone to heaven, he moaned happily and rutted against his boyfriend.

“Yeah, don’t get too excited,” Karkat said, glaring at him angrily. The effect was somewhat ruined, however, by the fact that he was also flushed, breathing heavily, and rubbing himself up against Dave.

Dave bared his neck, wanting Karkat to lick and kiss and touch him, and Karkat took the hint and leaned down to press his lips and teeth against the soft skin. Dave felt tiny pinpricks of pain and he swallowed a whine, the feeling sending a lightning-rod of heat straight to his dick.

Karkat shoved a hand down into Dave’s pants, and grabbed his dick, pumping it clumsily without taking Dave’s pants off. It felt fucking incredible. Dave’s hands were pinned above his head and his dick was being touched and everything just felt like so fucking much, so good. He moaned, unable to avoid letting the sound escape, and Karkat kissed him, presumably to shut him up.

It took embarrassingly little time before Dave felt himself being tipped over the edge. He choked out Karkat’s name as he came all over the inside of his dress pants.

Dave panted as Karkat worked him through it, then slumped back bonelessly against the stall door, his legs barely holding him up.

“Fu--uck, Karkat,” he groaned. “How did I get so fucking lucky? You’re seriously the hottest thing since, fuckin’, uh, boiled water.”

“Boiled water isn’t even that hot, dickstick,” Karkat scoffed, letting go of Dave’s wrists and helping him stand up properly.

“Whatever, you broke my brain, fuck off,” Dave complained. He reached down to undo Karkat’s zipper, but Karkat pushed him away. Dave whined and made grabby hands at Karkat’s crotch, where his bulge was making a visible ruckus, looking up at him pleadingly.

“Not here, you depraved fuck,” Karkat hissed. He grabbed some toilet paper to wipe off his hands, then buttoned Dave’s pants back up and kissed him meaningfully. “Later. We have to finish our dinner, it’s gonna get cold.” He bustled out of the stall, washed his hands, and left the bathroom.

“Sushi’s a fuckin’ cold food already!” Dave called after him. The door swung shut and Dave sighed, sleepy and stupid from his orgasm. He waited thirty seconds, then followed Karkat out of the bathroom.

Back at the table, Karkat was devouring his sushi. That brief arm workout must have worked up his appetite, Dave thought, smirking. He sat down and picked up the tentacle still on his plate. He looked at Karkat, who was pretending not to pay attention, and loudly sucked it into his mouth and swallowed it whole. Blugh. Probably shouldn’t have done that. Karkat rolled his eyes at the face he was making, and kept shoveling food into his mouth like he couldn’t wait to get home. Dave thought of Karkat’s bulge, which was probably making a sticky mess in his pants right now, and began eating his food quickly as well.

They ended up back at Dave’s apartment, which was their unspoken agreed-upon sex location, due to its lack of obnoxious roommates. Dave had barely closed the door behind them before Karkat was all over him, kissing him fiercely and possessively. Karkat shoved his tongue into Dave’s mouth, and Dave happily sucked on it, trying to pretend it was a bulge and giving Karkat a very visceral reminder of what that thing do. That thing being Dave’s tongue.

Karkat shoved Dave towards his bedroom, tugging off his shoes and coat and throwing them on the floor on the way there. Dave started to take off his own suit jacket, but Karkat stopped him with a hand on his arm.

“Leave it on,” he said darkly.

Dave shivered.

Karkat pushed him roughly onto the bed, removed Dave’s tie, and used it to bind Dave’s hands behind him, tying him to the bedframe. Oh shit, this was happening? They’d discussed being interested in trying this type of shit, and Dave was absofuckinglutely thrilled that Karkat had chosen today to take his frustrations out on him in a more kinky manner.

Karkat climbed up on the bed after him, spreading Dave’s legs open forcefully, and bending down to lick his dick, which was still covered by an unfortunate layer of pants. The heat and friction from Karkat’s mouth moving on him was enough to make Dave’s cock harden. He lay there, pulse pounding in his neck, staring down at his boyfriend, whose gorgeous thick dark hair was falling in curls around his face.

Dave was beginning to sweat already, he could feel his armpits getting damp with all the layers of clothing he was wearing. This suit was gonna get wrecked tonight, wasn’t it? Ah, fuck it, he had like seventeen others in his closet.

Karkat pulled his face up and gave Dave a smoldering look. He leaned forward and kissed him roughly, then backed away and stripped off all his clothes, tossing them off the side of the bed. Dave whined. The tip of Karkat’s bulge was peeking out of its sheath, looking shy and cute. Dave wanted to say hi to it with his mouth.

“Can I please suck you, Karkat, babe?” he asked politely.

Karkat rolled his eyes. “You spend our entire dinner date torturing me with your antics, and then you have the audacity to think you can get what you want tonight?? You’re not getting shit. You’re gonna sit there, and take whatever I decide to give you, and suffer the consequences of being an annoying, horny little fuck!”

He emphasized the last word by flicking Dave’s (still clothed, sadly) dick gently with the tip of his claw.

Dave groaned. “Fuck, man, I literally am asking you to sit on my face, how is that not something you want?”

“The point,” Karkat said, palming at his sheath, his breath becoming unsteady, “is that you don’t get what you want. I can get off just fine by myself, right over here. In fact, it’ll be all the more satisfying to make myself cum all by myself, knowing how frustrated you are having to sit there and watch and not do anything about it.”

Dave’s eyes widened as Karkat gasped and his bulge extended fully with a wet squelching sound, slapping around against his thighs. Karkat let it wrap around his hand and squeezed at it gently, almost lazily. He got up off the bed, still holding his bulge in one hand, and grabbed a toy off the dresser, one of Dave’s several dildos, a purple glittery one.

“Is this clean?” he asked.

Dave nodded apprehensively.

Karkat climbed back up on the bed, sitting at the foot of it again so Dave could watch him. Then without preamble, he shoved the dildo up his nook. He groaned, fucking himself with it, in and out, squeezing his bulge with his other hand.

Dave’s mouth watered and his dick strained against his pants. He wanted so badly to put his mouth on Karkat’s… everything. His dick, his nook, his lips, his chest, his ass. Fuck. He just wanted to lick him and kiss him all over. This was so fucking unfair.

“Come on, Kat, please, just let me-- let me touch you, let me do something,” he begged. “Just put a finger in my mouth or something, fuck, I’m seriously dying here.”

Karkat looked at him with disdain. “Then perish,” he said, and moaned loudly, pink genetic material dripping down his arm from his bulge.

Dave almost came in his pants right then and there. God dammit, Karkat had actually just quoted an Obama meme at him after tying him up in bed. He loved him so fucking much.

He whined at the sight of Karkat’s juices dripping, and licked his lips, wanting to taste it for himself. The lips of his nook were puffy and red and glistening, and his bulge was absolutely gushing liquid. Dave squirmed, trying halfheartedly to free himself from his binds.

Panting and cursing, Karkat kept working at himself, completely ignoring Dave as he continued fucking himself with the dildo. His moans pitched higher and higher, a throaty rumbling emanating from his chest, until he was shaking and gasping. His eyes were glazed, his cheeks flushed, and he looked so fucking beautiful. He let out a string of curses and grabbed the bucket lying on the floor next to the bed.

“Fuck, are you gonna come, Karkat?” Dave asked desperately. “Please, please can I watch you come, I wanna see you, fuck, you’re so beautiful, you’re so hot, I wanna see you go off, babe.”

“Shut the fuck up, Dave,” Karkat said breathily. He yanked at his bulge, juices dripping into the bucket. The sound was so filthy, so loud and hot. Dave’s dick twitched in his pants. Karkat moaned real fuckin’ loud when his orgasm hit, shaking as genetic material gushed into the bucket, sluicing off his bulge and shooting in forceful jets out of his nook.

It was all too fuckin’ much. Dave’s toes clenched in the fancy shoes he was still fucking wearing, and he doubled over in a groan as he came, messy and fast, on the inside of his boxers. Panting, he looked up at Karkat, who was smirking at him triumphantly, setting his half-full bucket off to the side.

“Wow, Dave, didn’t even get your clothes off and you’re already finished? You must have really liked what you saw,” Karkat taunted him.

Dave’s cheeks burned. “Come on man, just untie me already.”

Karkat relented, stopping first to kiss him sweetly and innocently. Yeah fuckin’ right.

After being untied, Dave stretched his arms out and stood up. Blugh, his pants were sticky with drying cum. Yeah, he was probably gonna have to throw these away.

Before going to the shower, he turned to Karkat. “Hey babe. Next week, I’m gonna take you on a date to the hot dog stand. Get it?”

“Yes, Dave, I get it--”

“Do you really get it?”

“YES, I--”

“Cause hot dogs look like human penises.”

“GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, DAVE!!!”

Laughing, he dodged a shoe that Karkat threw at him, and ducked out of the room, congratulating himself on a very successful date.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to [that_one_Maid_of_Space](https://archiveofourown.org/users/that_one_Maid_of_Space) for beta reading and [theyoungphoenix](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theyoungphoenix/pseuds/theyoungphoenix) for writing some stellar fuckin’ dialogue for the "it looks like your dick” part and letting me use it!!
> 
> i'm @alldavekat on [twitter](https://twitter.com/alldavekat) and [tumblr](https://alldavekat.tumblr.com)
> 
> my [homestuck rp discord server](https://discord.gg/Zmq9B9R) (18+)


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